week I’m in Texas of all places and miles away from Ruby. I’m missing her like mad but it sounds like her and Charles are doing a good job taking care of each other. what am I learning from her this week…
When she’s on she’s on and when she’s off she’s off…
She definitely does that well. When she’s playing and excited, or going for a walk she couldn’t be more alive and focused. Then when it’s time to chill, she’s out, totally relaxed, not a care in the world.
I had an experience a couple days ago in Fort Worth that reminded me it’s been a while since I really allowed myself to stitch off in day to day life…holidays don’t count here.
I can’t remember the last time I totally allowed myself the time, not just to have a pedicure and then a massage, but to absolutely relax having them, rather than quietly wondering how long it’s going to take as there is something I need to get on and do. Then it hit me,
I’ve been in a hurry for the past 10 years!!
Or that’s the way it felt in the moment. The fact that I literally had nothing else to do for the rest of the day made a huge difference, but the point was the feeling in my body of not being in a hurry was incredible. I’ve slowed w.a.y. down over the years, but this experience was different somehow.
In contrast, Ruby’s great at being on when she’s on and off when she’s off! – I’m really good at being on but not so good at being completely off. Can I actually allow myself to just relax doing what I’m doing and not be in a secret hurry to get to the next thing? I definitely got a taste for it on Saturday in Fort worth. It was lovely.
It wasn’t so much about what I was doing, it was the fact I wasn’t hurrying through it to get onto the next thing, or worrying that I’ll be late for something else. I can’t know for sure but when Ruby is lying on my lap relaxing I don’t think she’s worrying if she’ll be late for her walk or chewing her bone… ?
I realised how rare it is to give myself permission to switch off. That’s going to change.