I was chatting with an old friend today and we were reflecting on the impacts of this corona virus isolation and especially on our own relationships. He was saying that he and his long time partner were enjoying getting to know each other in new ways. And specifically how they each experience empathy and emotion differently. His partner is very intuitive and described her experience of empathy as picking up the other persons feelings as her own. My friend described his own experience as focusing more on his own feelings in contrast to what the other person may be feeling. So where his wife is seemingly more about the other persons feelings, Jeff is more about his own feelings in relation to what the other is feeling.
I loved this obseravation and dialogue Jeff and his wife are having. It caused me to reflect on how spending more time with my wife has deepened my own love and appreciation of how we each experience life uniquely. That my partner has gotten to the understanding that her thinking is free flowing and not to be taken literally. She is a sparkling Aries and a real doer, procrastination is a foreign concept to her. So for her having little thinking about what she is wanting to accomplish has been very freeing. For me, I’ve come to realize that being sensitive and having a lot of feelings that wash through me are not things I have to diagnose or ruminate on. I get to have a lighter relationship with my own experience which has allowed me to deepen my savoring of the experiences I love and to more easily let the less fun feelings just pass through.
So though my wife and I have have a similar understanding of all of our innate well being, we each experience this in different ways that has led to a greater appreciation of these differences and each other. For as a dear departed friend’s life mantra was, pleasure is conditioned by contrast. By more deeply seeing each others ways of experiencing the world, whole new levels of intimacy can unfold.